Monthly Archives: June 2009

Loving, Loving day, and other civil rights…


wedding14“It’s not natural.”  “It goes against the Bible.”  “It is not what God intended.”  These are things we hear so often today, but didn’t we hear these very same things just over 40 years ago?  Except then, no one was referring to gay marriages; they were referring to interracial marriages.  Religious people had their reasons, politicians had their reasons, and average citizens had their reasons.  It was toted as some HUGE unnatural sin that would be judged by God, and would bring down society as we know it.

It’s interesting how we are seeing the exact argument today about gay marriages.  How in the world do gay marriages affect straight marriages?  We don’t arrange marriages in America anymore, so why would a stranger think they can decide if any couple can get married?  More importantly, why is the government even putting it up to a vote?  The government didn’t put interracial marriages to a vote because it would have never passed.  It really only effected a small percentage of the entire population.  Very much like gay marriages.  The government had to take upon themselves to decide that citizens’ rights are for all citizens.  That no one else should be able to decided who you can fall in love with, who you can marry, and who you can have children with.

When Eartha Kitt was born in South Carolina under so much controversy and legal issues, he mother had to send her to New York City when she was 8.  Her mother was Black/Cherokee and her father was white.  This is the exact same mix my own daughters are.  In some states in the 50’s and 60’s they could have been taken away from me for being mixed.  My marriage would have been considered illegal, and we would have been put in jail.  It seems crazy now, but it was very serious then.  We all know that black men were killed for touching, talking to, or even looking at white women in the south.  Miscegenation in all of it’s forms was illegal. Even against great opposition, the Supreme Court passed a decision.  The Loving v. Virginia decision in 1967 overturned that stating that race-based legal restrictions on marriage were unconstitutional.

I asked one of my lesbian friends why this issue was so important.  She said that when her lover was sick in the hospital, she was not allowed to be there and the doctors wouldn’t talk to her because she was not related.  Had they been married, there would have been no restrictions.  She said she had a friend once who died in a car accident.  Her parents, who hadn’t talked to her since she came out to them, decided where to bury her, even though she wanted to be cremated, automatically received all of her property and money, and wouldn’t even allow her long-time partner to the funeral.  They had lived together over 10 years.  My friend has lived with the same woman for a very long time.  Her lover has a good job with full-benefits.  My friend owns her own business.  She cannot be under her lover’s health-care plan, and has never been able to have insurance.

I have a lot of gay friends who have children, and I rarely see better parents.  They have a lot of money to provide for everything, and their children are never surprises; they are well-planned for.  And unlike popular myth, being gay does not rub off.  You are born with it.  All my friends “knew” around 3rd or 4th grade.

My issues are always with civil rights and justice.  If it doesn’t affect you, there is no reason you should have a say on how others live their lives.  Every citizen who calls themselves American should be afforded the same rights and responsibilities of that privilege.  We all pay taxes, and we expect paved roads, and good schools for our children, police protection, and all of those other rights and freedoms that most Americans get to enjoy.


The legal right to life.


SN851498Suppose you were five months pregnant and your baby died.  Devastated, depressed, and confused, you go to your ob/gyn who says that they are sorry, but you must continue carrying the dead baby until your body delivers it –whenever that will be.  In fact, every doctor you go to says the same thing.  Why? Because it’s considered a late-term abortion, and only five doctors in America could perform them –well, now there are four.

What if your ten year-old niece comes up to you can’t understand why she’s getting “fat.”  She has no idea about pregnancy, or how what her father has been doing to her has effected her.  By the time you realize what has happened, she’s past the sixteen-week deadline for an abortion.

What if you found out you had terminal cancer and you were going to be a single mom.  Maybe you didn’t even have health insurance.  What if you didn’t find out you had this cancer until 25 weeks into your pregnancy.  The doctors say you may die before you can give birth.

These are the cases that came to Dr. George Tiller.  They came from neighboring states, they came from hundreds of miles because there was no one else to go to.

Abortion has turned into both a religious and legal issue.  It’s neither.  It’s a medical issue.  This is not a casual decision some woman makes as she’s walking past the clinic and thinks “Hey, maybe I’ll try that.”  No one pickets outside of plastic surgery clinics when people elect to recreate their nose, or enlarge their breasts.  This was what God gave them, but apparently they don’t care.  Somehow, this is not an issue.

I can’t think of a situation when I would decide to have an abortion.  No matter how I am financially, and probably physically.  But is it my right to tell a woman she must carry a dead baby inside her?  I had a friend go through that, and I wouldn’t wish her agony on anyone.

Dr. Tiller was caring for his patients.  He believed in the rights of women.  He understood the gravity of their decisions.  Many of these fringe anti-abortionists feel that killing a professional man with a family, in a church, is somehow justifiable.  You don’t hear his patients complaining.  You don’t hear his friends and family talking about how evil he is.  Just total strangers thinking they are a greater judge than God in deciding what is right and wrong for other total strangers.

This is out and out terrorism.  No different than the Ku Klux Klan.  Lynch mobs terrorizing and killing a specific group of people they don’t like.  Dr. Tiller was a professional doctor, doing his job legally, and allowing his patients to exercise their legal rights.  We have freedoms with logical and legal foundations.  We need to protect those freedoms for everyone

Healthy Kitchen/ Healthy Mind


SN851159lessons in personal transformation…

As everyday is an experiment composed to learn from and transform, the overwhelming abundance of lessons I have recently acquired could provide extensive help to others.  My transformations have been physical, mental, and spiritual.

Physically, as I was told since I was fifteen that I would never have children, as I was told that my condition was pre-cancerous, abnormal, and in need of a hysterectomy, as I looked for other opinions and methods including holistic herbs, vegan diet, vegetarian diet, yoga, Chi gong, and meditation, changes were limited.

Now, being in the seventh month of a textbook, healthy, pregnancy that was never supposed to happen, I have learned two things:  One, my boyfriend then, now husband, cleaned out my kitchen.  I mean CLEANED  OUT.  He took everything out of my kitchen that had any chemical, unpronounceable ingredient, or man-made component.  The strongest culprit being high fructose corn syrup.

My kitchen was then replenished and revitalized with whole foods.  This may sound contradictory, but some weekly groceries  included: cream–not milk, real butter, coconut oil, raw sugar, Breyer’s or Haagan Das ice cream, whole grain breads (with simple ingredients and no HFCS), real mayo, aged cheese, among other things.

Our beverages included high-end alcohol like Dessarrano (which of course I don’t drink now) homemade lemonade for the electrolytes, iced green tea, and once in a while the all-natural ginger beer or root beer. realizing that every ingredient has a purpose and the balance is found when you truly pay attention.

Mentally, there is something to be said about the balance and awareness of being in an incredible relationship.  The Taoist Abbot that married us said that we balance each other out perfectly.  That makes sense since most of the previous guys I’ve dated were wimps for the most part.  At least, I know that now as I look back on it.

We complement each other in energy –especially male/female energies and sexuality.  The true meaning of a Yin-Yang symbol is found in us.  Tao (the Abbot) told us that in a past life we were together only Osa was the woman, and I was the man.  –Which would explain my inability to bear children given my high testosterone levels.  He truly balanced me out.

Spiritually, we have been the guides that each other had been searching for all this time.  Spiritually covers much more than I can write in any one blog, and some of our secrets, are just that secrets. Knowledge is meant to be found.  When it is given, it will not be taken seriously.



SN851641Bliss secrets…

Many people have heard the phrase “The possibilities are endless.”  How many believe or even understand it though?  If I told you that right now, in my life I have everything I’ve ever wanted, would you believe me?  If I told you everything I ever wanted is better than I could have ever imagined, what would you say?  What if I said words like happiness, bliss and joy, are mere fractions of what I feel everyday.  Most people would shy away from this.  They would be afraid.  They wouldn’t trust it.  They are so used to drama and stress that they don’t know what to do when it is not there.  There’s nothing to complain about.

I will not freely give secrets away here.  If anyone saw how simple it was, they wouldn’t believe it anyway.  And giving answers is never appreciated if those listening do not know what the questions are.

I would advise anyone willing to open their mind to possibilities, to find any information about tantra, tantrick rituals, or anything by Aleister Crowley.  And then, if you are willing to discuss it, I am definitely game.

Getting what you need


Best Case Scenario…


Having received several compliments this week, I’d like to explain how to reach a best-case scenario.  I was told I was my co-worker’s inspiration for the picture of health.  I was told by my mid-wife that I am her favorite because she really only needs to show up to sign the birth certificate.  And I was told by a friend, “every time I call you you are doing great.  You don’t complain like other pregnant women.”

Now, besides the kitchen cleaning that I mentioned before, and the years of yoga, there are a few other factors in having this “textbook” pregnancy.  And a few secrets that I definitely don’t mind sharing.  The first one is –Supplements.  I take a few supplements that have created a healthy stability in a body that is in a taxing situation.  I do NOT take pre-natal vitamins.  They are loaded with too much iron, and I don’t need that.  My blood work has proved it.

What I take regularly is chewable vitamin C.  –You cannot overdose on this, so I may take up to 2000 mg a day.  I haven’t had a cold, sore throat or anything through this pregnancy.  When I was at 7 weeks I had a horrible ear infection.  It caused my whole face to swell, and I couldn’t open my mouth to eat.  I have a student who is a pharmacist (who swears against all medications!) HE is the one who suggested vitamin C–and within an hour I was a lot better.  Then we looked up Linus Pauling’s research on Vitamin C and have since made it a daily supplement.

In addition to that, I take acidophilus for digestive enzymes, folic acid and B complex (mainly because I am pregnant)   and garlic occasionally as a natural antibiotic.  Also, I take 5htp –which is an amazing mood stabilizer and it has the wonderful side-effects of keeping your cells younger, and keeping your sex-drive healthy.  I have not had those moody  times that you always hear about with pregnancy.  No crying out of the blue, no anger…pretty stable and happy, which has to be good for Rumi (our baby).

And lastly, coconut oil, as a supplement, as a cooking oil, and in my bath.  I cannot say enough about coconut oil.  It keeps everything smooth and regular as far as digestion and bowels, I have no stretch marks, and it is just all around wonderful.  When I breast feed, I will use it to keep my breasts supple also.

Beyond supplements, I have a great husband and a great job, so stress is at a minimum.  I am encouraged to nap when I feel necessary, and eat when and what I feel necessary.  No guilt.  Our sex-life is very active and creative which keeps me grounded.  And my co-workers and supervisors at work are just the best.  Of course, so are my students.  The only worry we have had lately, is money, but who doesn’t, really?

I worked very hard to get where I am, and I am extremely happy to see myself reaping the benefits.  And I would love to help out others.  Take care of your health, don’t be afraid to take that perfect job even if the money is less, and flirt with that person even if it scares you or you think they are out of your league…You might get exactly what you were wishing for.

The essence of life



As I reflect over the past year and look forward to the coming one, there is one very strong concept that I have learned. It’s about creating. What we create with our words and our thoughts. I had ideas and plans and dreams that I’ve held onto throughout my life. And I didn’t settle. I realized that I would rather have nothing then settle for something. I would rather be alone than be with someone that I wasn’t 100% sure about. It sounds extreme, I know.
Here’s the thing though, we all create our realities, consciously or unconsciously. Everything I have, was created by me, through words, intentions, even effort. I believe the same goes for everyone. There is no luck involved. I do not believe in luck. A higher power or powers, possibly. but it still is in direct response to our intentions and beliefs.
There are three main things I have wanted throughout this life: I wanted someone to grow old with, who would be committed to me and love me, someone I would never want a “break” from. I have also wanted a baby. Just one would be fine, but I wanted the pregnancy, I wanted the whole package, though, I did look into adoption for several years. Sounds simple enough, but as you may have already read, I was marked at 15 unable to have children. And it was true, I was in a few relationships for years and never used any birth control. Nothing. And my ultimate career goal was to teach English in College.
Today, I have the most amazing husband who far surpasses whatever I could have asked for. I am weeks from delivering our child after being through a perfectly healthy and textbook pregnancy. And I teach English at Case Western Reserve University –Not just any college. Can you imagine? Patience, and intent, I believe are the keys.
In my 37 years, I have had a lot of life-transforming experiences. I needed this complete education before I could truly appreciate all that I have now. I have lived in a third-world country, I have visited several continents, I have dated many men (only one American) and I have held several interesting and distinct positions, from radio news announcer, to pre-school teacher, to Peace Corps Volunteer, to social worker. This education has been so good for me, and I’m appreciative of it all. But I also realize how all of these steps, good and bad have lead me to this glorious palace I have been building and am continuing to build.

I need the answer!


The Perfect Formula


Four weeks ago, the baby dropped and got into position. Everyone said, “It won’t be long now.” Maybe Christmas, maybe New Years, what a tax break! This was followed by two weeks of strong, timable contractions. They would last five hours and then stop.

A week ago, I lost my mucus plug. (I know some people don’t like to hear about these things, But when you’re pregnant, or maybe when you’re me, there’s nothing to hide). My mid-wife said, “Anytime now, I’m sure I”ll be seeing you before your next appointment.” My appointments are every week.

Yesterday my breasts started lactating. From what I’ve read, all of these things indicate that I should be in the hospital right now, pushing –but I’m not. Not to mention that snow storms and new moons are supposed to be prime times for babies to be born.

I was telling my husband about my frustration. Mostly because I’ve never been bored in my life, but I am bordering on it now. He told me what I really want is my body back. This is true. But he also laughed at me. He said averages are for average people who eat average food and do average things. This was the control freak in me (that I didn’t even know existed) trying to make a perfect formula.

Then he said, “Could you imagine if there was a formula for an orgasm? If I pounded you this way for two minutes, and the slapped your ass three times at ten second intervals, you would have an orgasm.” That sounded so silly. We are not machines. We do not work in any set way responding to any set of events or stimuli. How boring and mundane it would be if we did.

So I have learned that Rumi will pick his own birthday, no matter how I coax him, and that A+B does not always =C.