There she was, so beautiful and perfect in my hands that the past several hours suddenly sifted through my hands like sand with not a single grain of current importance. It’s amazing how in that moment your own baby looks so much more beautiful than you had been imagining for the months you had been picturing her. But they grabbed her so quickly in my own delirium that I suddenly had no energy to protest, as the room became whiter, colder, and veiled. There was nothing left of me as I disappeared in the now very cold, porcelain tub, the placenta still in me, and my own body covered in the stuff that was covering her. I didn’t know she wasn’t breathing, they didn’t know I was lost; we were both lost for those moments, but then there we were moments later…in our regained pink radiance. If only the story could have stopped in that perfect moment, but it was dealing with the doctors later that took so much more strength.